|
|
Lee
It was a snowy night in New York City in the year of 2000. Now, snow can be fun. If you take a cup of snow, and drain a mortal onto the snow, it makes a lovely blood slushy. But I wasn?t in the mood for that.
I walked along the sidewalk of the busy city. Barely anyone was out, which in a way was good. Less chance of getting caught while I'm feeding. While there weren?t many people out, those that were looked delectable. A few children, some teens, with shopping bags, and some adults.
I spotted a nice plump one walking to her car with a grocery bag. She looked to be a fairly rich woman who probably didn't need most of the items in her bag. But for some, including myself, temptation can be just too much.
Normally, I wouldn?t have been this ruthless. I'm usually not so desperate for a treat. But I hadn't eaten for three weeks, and the effects of this were starting to take its toll, as hunger would do to any creature on earth. And I don't eat that much. While I try to feed off humans less and less, I just can?t help myself. Old habits die hard, and I could never get myself to quit cold turkey. They just taste too good.
I didn't eat that much as a mortal, either, being only eighteen when I was embraced. Now, I was 100 at the time this story takes place. Sure, definitely young for a vampire, but I've lived for a bit. Seen a few things. What I would experience this night would be the funniest, weirdest thing I ever had, or have to this day. And it proved to me what actual morons some people really, truly are.
I ducked into an ally, and plopped myself onto the ground next to some garbage. It's disgusting how they pollute their world, these mortals. I never noticed that until I was embraced.
"Help!" I cried out.
The woman turned around, and saw me. With her grocery bag, she walked over to me, squinting to see me in the dim light provided by a slowly burning-out street lamp. "What happened?" she asked me.
I looked up at her helpless. When you become a vampire, you learn acting pretty quickly. For many of us, it?s the acting that gets you your food. "I slipped on some garbage, and now I can't get up," I whimpered.
She set her bag down beside her, and knelt down. "Here, let me help you."
"Thank you," I told her. I opened my mouth, bearing my teeth, and grabbing her arms.
She screamed, and I lost my grip in surprise. I hate that.
She went to her grocery bag, and pulled out a huge piece of meat. Steak. "Stay back!" she cried. "I'm not afraid to use this!"
I could smell the fear on her. I blinked, and got to my feet, putting my hands on my hips. "What are you doing?"
"This is a stake. I can kill you with it!"
I began to laugh. What a fool! She was trying to destroy me with a slab of meat! This women was a genuine idiot! So perhaps there could be a misconception. But we vampires have been in the media for so long. With all different forms of mythology surrounding us, how can one not know the difference between a stake and a steak.
I ask you, have you ever seen or heard of a vampire falling down dead, or cowering away from a slab of meat? Do you know how silly that would look in a movie? or how dumb it would appear to a person imagining a scene from a vampire novel? Ann Rice and Braham Stoker aren't all that dumb, are they? I rather enjoyed "Interview with the Vampire," even if it was inaccurate. But they didn't have Brad Pitt running away from a guy with a hunk of meat! That would just be insulting!
The idiot woman just stood there, staring at me, as I gripped my sides to keep them from splitting. I looked up at her, and lunged, knocking her off her feet. I fed, and got to my feet, wiping my mouth clean, and licking my fingers. Stupid, yet very tasty. As expected.
Before leaving the ally, I picked up the piece of steak and tossed it to some little puppies I saw hiding behind a dumpster. My good deed for the day.
As I walked from the ally, I could only think of two words to say:
"Idiot mortals."
Back