"Where are we?"-Eric
"W"- Mr. S
"W? ...shit."- Eric

"Can we punch him (Conrad Birdie) in the face?...(Eric does the 'de dum cha' sound on the drums) just kidding"- Robin
"We love you Conrad!" - Eric

"Can you remember that?"- Mr. S
"Peanut butter crackers wrapped in cellophane?" - Will

"Peanut butter crackers wrapped in cellophane." - Will
"That is the best snack!" - Eric

"I didn't even know what puberty was until I was past it"- Mr. MacAfee (Andrew)
"And you still don't" Mr. S

"La la la" - Robin
"Hey look at that." - Will
"Shut the fuck up!" - Eric

Chris's sign: 'Pick your nose... it?s good for you.'
"Dude! picking your nose rocks! Bottom line" - Will

"Juoooo-ccciie Juice" - Andrea

"Stayin' after school rocks 'cuz... you get to see boys" - Robin
"I like boys." - Carol
"I LOVE BOYS!!!" - Eric

"Well we can still see your butt and that's all that matters." - Will to Sean

"What was his name... Andrew?" - Robin
"Matt." - Morgan
"Matt?" - Robin
"God damn it we're that Hearty Boys!" - Will

"The amp died." - Robin
"How did it die?!" Mr. S
"It died 'cuz... it was... in... the shower... and... Eric stabbed it to death 'till Hershey's Syrup came out the sides." - Robin

"It's either me or no one on the couch" - Chris

"The last time I checked, olying (skateboard trick) didn't involve moving back wards."-Chris

"Robin wake up... ITS CHRISTMAS!!" - Eric

"I get to call places!" - Nancy
"I get to open my coke!" - Chris

"Hey Robin." - Eric
"What?" - Robin
"Shut the fuck up!" - Eric

"Great jeoraeoaarb Mr. S and Teckies!" - Eric
"Yeah. Great jeoraeoaarb." - Will

"Your like... so white." - Carol
"I'm bad to the bone." Mr. S

"I had a great time in pit." - Jessica
"Me too but I'm tired." - Carol
"I'm bad to the bone." Mr. S

"Eric." - Robin
"Shut the fuck up!" - Eric
"God damn it!" - Robin

"He's like Mr. Fun in the Fun Face Five!" - Will

"Next time try dropping the microphone harder "- Andrew

"I'm not jealous... I'm the opposite of jealous... I?m very jealous!" - Hugo Peabody

"Why Hugo Peabody! What have you been drinking?" - Kim MacAfee
"Milk... but it worked." - Hugo Peabody

"But there are religious differences" - Albert Peterson
"Spanish is not a religion" - Rosie Alvarez

"I am not an old man! I was 18 during World War Two!" - Mr. MacAfee

"Doris, I am not budging from this room 'til I get my coffee, smoke a cigarette, and read my paper!" - Mr. MacAfee
"I?m sorry dear. I didn't have time to make your coffee this morning. How about a nice warm 7-up?" - Mrs. MacAfee
"Morning Pa! Here's your paper. I hope you don't mind but I cut out a few stories about Conrad" - Randolph MacAfee
"... I have tried to run this house on a democratic basis. I have extended the privileges of self-determination to both the woman I have married and the children I have sired.... the vote has been denied no one for reason of age, sex, or political affiliations. There has been no taxation with out representation, and open covenants have been openly arrived at! ...Last night I gave up my room to a guest who repeatedly referred to me as 'Fats!' Telephone calls were made on my phone to New York, Chicago, Fairbanks, Alaska, and Hong Kong! I slept in a camp cot with my feet in the fireplace and my head in an ashtray. Outside my window three harpies shrieked 'We Love You Conrad' 4,723 Times!... I have just lost two fried eggs! ...Gentlemen, the democracy is over! Parliament has been dissolved; the Magna Carta is revoked, and Nero is back in town! And you don't offer an emperor warm 7-up!" - Mr. MacAfee
"Oh, Mr. MacAfee I hope you won't mind keeping off the phone for a few minutes. We're expecting a long distance call from New York." - Albert Peterson
"Perfectly all right! I'll go out and burn Rome!" - Mr. MacAfee

"You're just like your father!... you'd marry any thing!" - Mae Peterson

"Momma. What's the matter?" - Albert Peterson
"Nothin's the matter. You've killed me that's all." -Mae Peterson

This is where the cast was warming up so they could go through a rehearsal. Each cast member had to choose one to two lines they had to say for the play. Then they would go up on stage and say their line/s with as much drama as possible. If Mrs. R didn't like it because it was lame, she couldn't hear it, you didn't say it right or she just plain didn't like it, she would say "What?" then you would have to repeat your self and fix the line.

"We Love you Conrad! Oh yes we do!" - teen girl
"What?" - Mrs. R
"Oh man!... We Love you Conrad! Oh yes we do!" - teen girl
"What?" - Mrs. R
"We Love you Conrad! Oh yes we do!" - teen girl
"WHAT?!" - Mrs. R
"EERR!!! We Love you Conrad! Oh yes we do!" - teen girl
"What?" Mrs. R
"WE Love you CONRAD! OH YES we DO!" - teen girl
"What?!.... how much do you love him?"
"WE LOVE YOU CONRAD! OH YES WE DO!" - teen girl
"How much?" Mrs. R
"A lot!!!!!!!!!!" Teen girl
"How much?"
(holds up hands) "This much!" Teen Girl
"How much?!"
"I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH CONRAD!!!!!!! I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABY!!!!!" Teen girl

"I'll have a double rocks on the scotch" Hugo
"What?" Mr. S
"I'll have a double rocks on the scotch" Hugo
"WHAT?" Mrs. R
"I'LL HAVE A DOUBLE ROCKS ON THE SCOTCH!" Hugo
"What?!"
"I WANT ALCOHOL!!" Hugo

"Brace your self chick!" Conrad Birdie
"What?" Mrs. R
"What?" Conrad
"What?" Mrs. R
"What?" Conrad
"What?" Mrs. R
"What?" Conrad
"What?" Mrs. R