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The House of Bzok
"It's all triangular and scary." -Toki
"She's gonna lick me with the
tongue of doom!" -Andy
"You're my friend." -Andy
"I don't like triangles." -Toki
"Frogs eat pizza."
"wrong wacky." -Lee
"wrong coke!" -Lee
"Little teeny weeny pieces of crack." -Lee
"I would never hurt you. Blow your head off, maybe, but not hurt you!" -Torre
"All hail the bar!" -Bzok
"I'm not gonna kick you!" -Bzok
(on the swing)
"Bzok, think about this..."
-Torre (standing in front of swing)
"Well, maybe... but not hard...
and it won't be intentional!" -Bzok
"But I've never weighed this much before!" -Bzok
"How does it feel to be 16?"
-Torre's Dad (on Torre's birthday)
"I don't know, I've never been
16 before!" -Torre
"For all we know there could be a change in planes... plans." -Bzok's Mom
The Beach House
"Open your mouth, or I'll bite you." -Toki
"Oh look, it's the state penitentiary. No wait, it's a college." -Torre
"This isn't a pen." -Lee
"Vampire for the chicken soup soul." -Torre
"Cinatit." -Lee
"Big boom." -Toki
"Yeah, shut up. I'm having a
dream about a cannon." -Lee
"Smile! You're on candid camera!" -Toki
"Smile again, cause candid camera's back!" -Toki
"She says you're not fair." -Bzok
"Oh, cool." -Toki
"Smile! Candid camera take 9!" -Toki
"Take 3?" -Toki
"Lee lost her pen." -Bzok
"Nah. It's in my foot." -Lee
"Don't you know what a hyperbole
is?" -Torre
"No - hyperbole?" -Lee
"It's a color!" -Toki
"Smile! Candid camera's back for take 4!" -Toki
"Take five scared her off." -Toki
"Do you want another take 6 for your ___? While you're at it, add 7!" -Toki
"Candid camera, come bake for take two thousand, one million point ninety-four." -Toki
"Poodle named killer!" -Toki
"Masochistic frog!" -Lee
"Pikapooh!" -Toki
"Hey! I happen to like stuff!" -Anonymous
"Are you dead?" -Lee
"You can't get rid of me that
easy." -Torre
"Think blank tape." -Torre
"Okay! That's water!" -Lee
"Do not pay attention to the man behind the shark." -Toki
"La la." -Toki
"Here fishy, fishy, fishy." -Torre
"Stupid fish!" -Bzok
"Did I just bow down to a cake
in public?" -Bzok
"No." -Toki
"Okay, good." -Bzok
"The almighty green cake that looks like lettuce." -Toki
"Baby crab." -Bzok
"Maybe no." -Lee
"Oh look! It's a baby tadpole!" -Andy
"I have a psychological link with the pillow." -Torre
*GONG*
"What rhymes with lungs?" -Lee
"Tongues." -Toki
"Your chair bit me!" -Bzok
"Bite it back!" -Toki
"The ghost of dead Torre." -Torre
"She needed liposuction." -Lee
"You…have…things on your head." -Torre
"Oh no! There was a man! And he was like mmmmmmm! And he had a bike that went klick klick klick! Mmmmmmm. And he went that way like mmmmmmm by the window! And, and…oh never mind! It was a man with a bike, and he went by the window." -Toki
"Look! Daddy has a face! Oh, look! He has another face!" -Torre
"Bow to the watch!" -Toki
"What time is it, and where's the ice!?" -Toki
"Happy!" -Torre
"No. You're Torre." -Toki
"Bad pen!" -Toki
"Bldoodoodoo!" -Lee
"Stop bldoodoodooing!" -Torre
"Why don't they just kill us so no one will be dead?" -Lee
5th Period Lunch -- First Semester
"Aardvark!" -Jonathon
"I like to talk on the phone, but when my friends tell me I can't it hurts my toe." -Touch
"Misha tapped someone on the finger and said - wait, she tapped someone on the shoulder, yeah that, and..." -Torre
"Hi, my name is Cleavage, and
I am an alcoholic." -Torre
"HI CLEAVAGE!" -everyone
"I'm choking on teddy bear bellies!" -Touch
"All men are babies and it takes women to carry them." -Torre
"You know what a word I happen
to like is?" -Jonathon
"Twinkle toes!" -Torre
Farqueer
"CHOCOLATE CAKE!!"
"Skittles: you really CAN taste the rainbow!" -Paige
"Anybody want a croissant on a stick? Fine! I'll eat it!" -Torre
"Everybody's Everybody's Mother!" -Mr. C on Star Wars
"Switch." "Bunny." "Flag." "Let's go!" -Katie in her sleep
"It's just a dream..." -Katie
"It was cute, it was dumb, and it could climb a tree... hey! Sounds like my boyfriend!" -Anonymous
"Welcome to my merry realm of Death!" -Rosemary
"I will KILL you with my Minty Fresh Breath!" -Torre
"Air softener." -Lee
What
I *really* learned in School
(Note: these quotes come from actual students and teachers during school
hours)
"Go have your drug-trip elsewhere!" -Mr. D
"Are you sure you don't smoke pot?" -Corey to Dr. Cross
"Aunt Cathy!" -Adam to Dr. Cross
"Big Momma Cross!" -Sam about Dr. Cross
"Marijuana is a beautiful word! It rolls off your tongue like you roll a joint!" -Mr. D
"Wanna know what an idiot is? Go look in the mirror!" -Mr. G
"Viagra, it brings you back to life!" -Mr. D
"You're so cute when you do that, you look kinda like a woodchuck." -Mr. D to Sara
"Don't recycle! It's bad for the environment!" -Mary
"I assume that what you are assuming is correct but that's only an assumption." -Meg
"They literally have no purpose
in society." -Smolls
"And they leave the Forbidden
City with, you know, their little jars." -Ms. Games about the eunuchs
"Let's go hunt humans!" -Torre
"Tell the class just how awesome
you are, Mr. D!" -Smolls
"I don't wanna blow my own horn,
Molly." -Mr. D
"Can I blow your horn?" -Smolls
"A joint was smoked." -Mr. D teaching the passive voice
"He doesn't speak very well English." -Manda
Random
"Hello, I am Juanita and I have
come to clean your house." -Cyr
MORE TO COME!!
