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Okay. One night. A long time ago… okay, probably last year, Torre, Bzok and I (Lee) were on conference. And THIS is what happened.
Torre: Bzok, tell Lee why I have summoned her at such an early hour
Bzok: Because she felt like it.
Torre: No. The other reason.
Bzok: Uhh. I don't remember…
Torre: The thing we were talking about when I took you home.
Bzok: I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Torre: Who's on the computer?
Lee: Me.
Torre: Lee, I want you to do something for me.
Lee: No.
Torre: I want you to take you fingers, take them off the keyboard and
put them in your lap because you are paying no attention to this.
Lee: Yes I am. You have no idea how much attention I'm paying!
Torre: Actually I think I do. What are you typing?
Lee: This whole conversation.
Torre: LEE!!
Lee: What came after "No. The other reason."
(All start laughing)
Lee: No! I'm serious!
Torre: You? Serious? This is a break-through.
Lee: Seriously!
(They fill her in)
Torre: Bzok, You explain.
Bzok: Why me?
Torre: Because I'm having trouble talking. I can't articulate.
Bzok: You can never articulate.
Torre: Yes, but sometimes it works. It comes and goes, y'know?
Bzok: I don't think that's possible.
Lee: I'm sorry I stopped typing. This is funny as shit.
Torre: So, start typing.
Bzok: Yeah.
Lee: Okay, lemme close this.
Bzok: You do that.
Lee: Okay, what was the next line?
Torre: I don't know. Then you started typing again.
(silence)
Lee: Nobody’s saying anything.
Bzok: Hi.
Lee: Hi.
Torre: This is not funny anymore. Why are you doing this? You're typing
everything I say. It's like the Truman show. Is this blackmail? Or maybe
it's before they were rock stars? Well, we won’t be rock stars but Lee
might. If we can get a hold of it. I have a calculator. I have all the
answers. (laughing) No! You misunderstood me. Today we were shopping and
it’s a calculator on a key chain. And it needs to be written on it "I have
all the answers."
Lee: It needs to say don't panic.
Bzok: Very true.
Torre: You're obsessed. The reason I called you was to get something
done, and we spent a half hour writing this conversation down and it's
only to laugh at it at our high school reunion 30-50 years from now.
Lee: Wait! I'm getting screwed up now!!
Torre: Does it matter? You're writing this and you won't do anything
with it. God, I'm pacing again, hopefully I won't run into anything.
Bzok: This is what eyes are for, to see where you're going.
Torre: They’re better than Toki's.
Lee: You just lost me.
Torre: Wait. She's always lost. This is such a marvel?
Bzok: Should we go slower for you, Lee?
Torre: Am I the only sane person on this line? I was waiting for someone
to go "I'm Sane."
Lee: You've lost me again.
Bzok: Why are you pacing?
Torre: I dunno.
Bzok: That's not a good reason to run into the wall.
Torre: I'm not running into walls. Do you want me to repeat that, Lee?
(All laugh.)
Bzok: When I opened the cd player, the cd spun, and now it won't.
Torre: You could get radiation from it. You've lost enough brain cells.
Bzok: Torre, there's this little button that says "Push open," and
the cd spun around for no reason. Guys, this isn’t the best time for me
to be talking. I'm being really loud.
Torre: Go in the basement.
Bzok: That's not a bad idea. Then I can play pinball.
Torre: Me? I had a good idea?
Bzok: Oh, goody, I can lounge on the couch now.
Torre: Why are you writing down everything? Ah! This is getting annoying.
Bzok: Cold.
Torre: Bzok? Are you okay?
Bzok: No. I'm cold, I need a blanket.
Torre: Ohh. Poor Bzok's cold.
Bzok: The blanket is stuck to the chair.
Torre: Hear that Lee? Want me to repeat that?
(All laugh)
Torre: We're all insane. This is insane.
Bzok: I got the blanket!
